Jurassic World and The Logic of Safety

Jurassic World and The Logic of Safety

Yesterday I finally did it. I finally saw Jurassic World. I know, I know it’s been two months since it was initially released. Yeah, we had this conversation yesterday ok whatever. What’re my thoughts on the movie? It was pretty solid. I was thoroughly entertained throughout the entire movie. But I also noticed how it paled in comparison to the originals. Don’t get me wrong, I love Chris Pratt guys an absolute legend. You came into our lives as the beautiful idiot, Andy Dwyer, on Parks and Rec and then transformed into box office gold.

 

Let’s talk about the logic of safety. Yeah I took a media studies course, what of it? So for those of you who aren’t as educated or as much of a classic man as I am don’t worry I’ll get you hip to the logic of safety. Essentially the logic of safety is whenever studios decide to re-boot franchises from the past, create spinoffs, or make sequels to films that have enjoyed success at the box office; because it minimizes, to a degree, the financial risk taken when producing a movie due to the assumed success.

 

Studios do this all the time, in fact just this year we have had Taken 3, Hot Tub Time Machine 2, The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Cinderella, Furious 7, Insurgent, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, Mad Max: Fury Road, Pitch Perfect 2, Poltergeist, Entourage, Insidious: Chapter 3, Jurassic World, Ted 2, Magic Mike XXL, Terminator Genisys and Minions. And that’s only the movies that have come out already this year.

 

The movies still to come are: Vacation, Mission Impossible – Rouge Nation, Fantastic Four, Sinister 2, The Transporter Refueled, Maze Runner The Scorch Trials, Hotel Transylvania 2, The Peanuts Movie, Spectre, The Hunger Games Mockingjay – Part 2, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip, Point Break. Get it, lots of fucking movies.

 

Some spoilers ahead.

 

There was a moment in Jurassic Park where B.D. Wong’s character is talking to the park owner, Irfan Khan, and Khan is irate and demands to know how the Indominus Rex could have been created. He say’s “you didn’t ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.” This movie is the Indominus Rex of the Jurassic Park series: bigger, tougher, scarier, but definitely not better.

 

The original Jurassic Park was so perfect. It was the perfect mix of quality dialogue, suspense, and action. The scene with the raptors in the kitchen is to this day one of my favorite scenes of any movie.

 

Don’t get me wrong there are some quality scenes and repartee in the movie but nowhere near as brilliantly written and expertly delivered as this scene from the original.

 

That’s the type of quality that makes you the oldest film in the Billion Dollar club. That type of quality just can’t be replicated, no matter how hard you try.In all fairness though this movie had some awesome special effects. The Dino fight scene at the end of the film, 10/10. Especially because the hero at the end of the day was the OG dinosaur, Mr Tyrannosaurus Rex himself, who destroyed the Indominus Rex.

 

In some ways though It’s unfortunate that Chris Pratt didn’t have the privilege of reading Michael Crichtons’ words and being directed by Steven Spielberg. But hey, you’re the star of the 3rd highest grossing movie of all time so fuck it; anything I say has no actual significance so I think you’ll be fine.

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