Love. It’s simply an illusion.
At least that is what I read as a person all but stated that we made love up in our minds just to comfort us from reality. This post is about love, nothing more and nothing less. I posed the question to myself after reading a comment that stated, “Love is an illusion, look at all the divorce rates, and people cheating. Love is not real.” I don’t know the person but it did make me think and I had to wonder, did people still believe in true love in 2014? The more and more I thought about the facts (which I am sure the person who commented about love being an illusion used to justify her beliefs) I had to admit that maybe she had a point. Divorce rates are high and the longevity in marriages are weak, a lot of people are choosing not to even get married simply because they don’t feel like getting divorced.
I have sat at the table with love and participated as well as watched from the sidelines all of the interesting things a person does when they are in love. I have helped mend a broken heart from the devastation that happened after “true love” left, (turned out to be simply an illusion). “The only problem that I have ever had with love was that it took too long to come and stayed only for a short while. ” I, myself have been on the receiving end what love looks like on an ordinary day and basked in the glory of feeling all gushy and great inside because love had somehow chose me to dance with. At night I prayed for the love to last simply because it felt to so damn good. To be loved and to love oh what a feeling (that song is sooo accurate when you’re in love).
And then my love ended, abruptly or at least that’s how it feels when it ends. But the pain after is what I have come to loathe. I must be honest and say a broken heart could easily be measured up against dying a slow death. (Maybe I am being dramatic but if you have ever truly had your heart broken you know I am not reaching). Somehow I managed to survive it lol. But I know you either give love another chance OR you decide to be “realistic” about what love is and what love isn’t. I guess that is the problem, the evidence suggests that people don’t really believe in love not that way they used to back in the day. Or maybe, and this is what I personally believe, there are too many broken hearts unwilling to trust love one more time.
One of my absolute favorite quotes is by Dr. Maya Angelou,”Have enough courage to trust love one more time. And always one more time.” I am sure the person who believes in love being an illusion would tell me to refer once again to the facts about our generation and love. I must agree we are a bit confused on what love is and how it differs from infatuation, lust, and, good sex. Our generation without a doubt needs a Love 101 course. I asked people on facebook (my tool for talking to the masses) do they think that love is still exists in 2014 or is it an illusion? A lot of people all agreed that true love is still here and walking amongst the living. I didn’t have audacity to ask if they were single or not but looking back that still would not be enough to be the swing vote on whether love in 2014 was alive and well. In fact if you are single and still believe in love it should give us all hope.
I don’t think true love is an illusion BUT I do believe that some people come into relationships with an unrealistic approach on what love is. Everything plays a part into a person’s view on love, you have past relationships or lack thereof. Then you have what television makes love look like, you have romance novels, add that with Sex And The City, Girlfriends, Love & Hip Hop, and every Disney movie that this generation grew up with (Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Snow White, Aladdin, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty etc) and you have a generation with some very skewed views on what “true love” is. Not to mention we are the microwave generation (we want everything quick) even love. To open yourself up to truly love someone takes an enormous amount of courage, you are essentially giving a perfect stranger every weapon to kill you. At least that’s how I look at it. What’s worse is that if the love is untrue then you are left feeling slighted because you chose that person.
If you came into a relationship with the very best of intentions & FELL not slipped but FELL in love and get your heart broken you might be agreement with love being an illusion. I believe our generation wants love and everything that it has to offer, we are trying to get it right even with all of the wrongs that we are projecting about love. If you find any guy he might be unwilling to open up about love but let him fall in love and talk to him then. There is nothing more beautiful than a guy in love, people often refer to women about love but talk to a guy who is truly deeply in love (talk about wow). Love is hard work, its something that you work at I think (I don’t have all the answers) but I do think its a never ending process just like the journey of life.
I think you love someone not just because they are beautiful or because they stimulate you right now. You love them because when you met for the first time you gave a stranger a chance. You allowed them to open a door that was closed or maybe stepped in to an open one, but you let them in somewhere that is considered sacred and freely you gave away the keys to your heart and made no duplicates. Once you exchanged keys you decided mutually to keep loving one another even when y’all cannot stand one another. The meeting of souls coming to an agreement to stay in love and fight for love. To be unwavering and unmoved by outside forces. I don’t personally see it as an illusion but I do have my own reservations about love (I’m human). Love is probably the greatest gift that God gave to us and to be IN LOVE is like the coolest feature on the Love App lol. So in 2014 do you still believe in true love? I know I do.
Bonus: Lauryn hill speaks about LOVE