Passion of the Relationship
“I know a place we can go where you’ll fall in love so hard that you wish you were dead.”
This lyric is from the song “Be Safe” by The Cribs, a song that is pure genius by the way. Partly because of my sometimes admittedly lame music choices, I swear I am 10 times more antsy in my twenties than I ever was in my teenage years, and I was pretty damn antsy back then. But this quote is probably one of the most relatable lyrics to ever grace my ears. It perfectly describes my entire relationship goals in a few words; I want to fall in love so hard that I wish I were dead. I want to feel such a paradox of extreme emotions; I want passion.
I have a slight problem in life where I feel far too much, I tend to think, act, and feel in extremes. And when I’m not wildly happy or extremely pissed, I have an utter lack of emotion. Psychopath you say? Probably. I kid, I kid. (Not really, I’m on birth control.) Go ahead, take a moment to bask in the glory of my wit/lame pun making ability. Good? Alright, let us continue.
For the past 2 and a half years, I did not want a relationship. Yet during this time, I did spend some time wondering that when I eventually began to want a relationship, would I want a passionate love or a relaxed, comfortable relationship? Is it possible to have both? Maybe for some people. It’s sure possible to have neither.
Being the extreme thinker that I am, I could only imagine having a passionate relationship where I constantly fight but then have really awesome sex on a roof. Or I imagined having a relationship where I can sit in bed after some calm sex, eating cheese sticks and burritos and not caring about burping together.
Now, I think the key to combining both of these types of relationships is to not to define a relationship as anything at all. Often that definition of “passionate” or “comfortable” restricts how I act, whether I realize it or not. I believe if I just let a relationship be a relationship, then passion and relaxed comfortability can coexist in harmony.
Peace and love and burritos be with you,