Sometimes you have to stay and fight for your life…
Who knew that watching the teen show “The Carrie Diaries” would hit home and give me an aha moment. Hopefully I am not spoiling season two but since it is already on netflix then I am going to assume the people who watch the show have already seen the last episode from season two. Well Carrie has just graduated from high school and has decided to NOT go to NYU (her dream school) because she is gotten her dream job at Interview magazine. Her father doesn’t agree and long story short she gets fired from her job on the first day because her boss got fired. Now she has no college, no dream job, and a dad who is mad at her. Just as she is about to head to Cali with her handsome boyfriend she realizes that she needs to be in New York City. She has dreamed of being a writer in New York and realized that if she left she would just be running from her problems and not fighting for the life she wants.
In one scene she explains to her father that she is not leaving for Cali and that she is going to stay in New York with no money, no job, and no school to attend in the Fall to fight for the life she wants. Oddly enough I had the same moment in my life the choice to leave the city or the choice to stay and try to make this magic city of mines work for me. New York City is probably the only place I will ever call home and mean it. I am sure I will move out of the city once I have a family but when I think of “home” it will always be New York. Everything about New York is a damn Catch 22, the rent is too damn high, the MTA is just annoying, but then you realize you attend events at facebook (see future post). This is the city that can make or break you and for most it breaks their heart at least a million times but then gives us something amazing just to let us know that it still loves us.
I was going to leave the city and not because I truly wanted to but because I was tired of fighting for every single thing. Tired of trying to get my voice heard, New York City is thee place to be so much so that you can feel as if your not making any progress. You can be a celebrity with a ton of fans but you still better not step on my J’s (the Jaded New Yorker is real). Everyone comes to New York City to make it and most according to Jay Z (half of us won’t make it). But I decided to stay because I love the improbable possibilities that New York City has to offer. And as I watched a young Carrie Bradshaw decide to fight for her life it made me smile because I am doing the exact same thing. I am planting my feet in this concrete jungle and fighting for the life that I want.
At least for now, next week or probably tomorrow I will be sitting on the train cursing New York City out and swearing that as soon as I get money I will be leaving. But for now if only just for this one post New York City is the best love affair I will ever have and its my home.